Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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