Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
