why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
