Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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