i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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