Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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