I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
