Where did you get a picture of my penis
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
