did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
