vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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