im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
seriously i just wanna be friends
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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