We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
