i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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