yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
