I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
that's an acceptable place to lick
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
