does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
