Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
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After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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