Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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