He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
