I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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