So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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