Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"

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(865): View more from Tennessee

that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying

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(678): View more from Georgia

How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.

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(626): View more from California

I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.

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(317): View more from Indiana

There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.

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