If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.