he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion