i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
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I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm just crazy horny about you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
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I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.