come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..