Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her

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  (405): Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her http://tfl.nu/rds9
  Replies (20) Good night (1165) Bad night (2041)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009

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  (541): I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009 http://tfl.nu/ne91
  Replies (5) Good night (3944) Bad night (728)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.

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  (608): your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places. http://tfl.nu/fel2
  Replies (81) Good night (6993) Bad night (1434)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out

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  (239): they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out http://tfl.nu/ncls
  Replies (2) Good night (3771) Bad night (872)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...

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  (336): just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ... http://tfl.nu/0ptt
  Replies (18) Good night (1025) Bad night (2758)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.

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  (785): Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before. http://tfl.nu/gt36
  Replies (6) Good night (1744) Bad night (1620)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing

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  (940): This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing http://tfl.nu/18y7
  Replies (9) Good night (2494) Bad night (1085)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos

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  (518): Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos http://tfl.nu/5fyh
  Replies (2) Good night (2220) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you

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  (562): I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you http://tfl.nu/q7ed
  Replies (7) Good night (1474) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club

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  (716): We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club http://tfl.nu/652n
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (342)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.

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  (417): Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess. http://tfl.nu/qhcv
  Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.

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  (978): damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder. http://tfl.nu/kxku
  Replies (2) Good night (303) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night

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  (361): His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night http://tfl.nu/4mza
  Replies (1) Good night (396) Bad night (798)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...

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  (540): I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying... http://tfl.nu/wais
  Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.

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  (608): You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin. http://tfl.nu/8hk6
  Replies (0) Good night (317) Bad night (125)

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