You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
