I could have mohawked her pubes.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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