Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
