I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We got so high we made milksteak
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
