where am i from again
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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