i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
