Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize