hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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