I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
