You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
