What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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