Having a random hookup so left but love u
barbara walters just said penis...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
