I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
