Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
