so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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