we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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