I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
