Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
