vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Boobs are out for the taking
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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