im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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