just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
