Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize