We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
