She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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