He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This is my gift to your gina
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
