I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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