We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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