I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
