She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
