Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize