He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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