I want to make a zoo with you.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
