Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
