Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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