The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
