from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
