I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
